Contradictions

i live in jamaica for 17 years and Nyc. ONe thing i hate most is a walking , dead or alive contradiction. my boss was one of them. He was a child abuse victim, he had issues and he would abuse others who had issues that came from same background. i had suffered abuse torture. longterm. i never picked up abuse to myself or others.
  He would cover hisself.
 in jamaica the thing that got me ticked most was RASTA, I DID NOT DREAD MY HAIR CHAT RAST OR CHANT BUT I WAS CONCIOUS AND RIGHT BECAUSE OF MY LIFE. BUT NATURAL. I WAS NOT A NAZI I WAS A SURVIVOR WHO SAW IT ALL AND GOT TO HAVE A MIRACLE. I WAS SPIRITUAL. I CONSIDERED MYSELF RASTA IN A WAY TO GOD BECAUSE I SPOKE THE SPIRITUAL LANGUAGE NOT THE DYSFUNCTIONAL BABYLONE. HOWEVER EVERY AND ANY PERSON I SAW BUCK UP ON WEARING DREADS , RED GOLD GREEN OR WAVING SOME BANNER WAS A WALKING PEICE OF SOCIOPATH .
   ABUSER, DRUG ALCHOL WAVING A FLAG IN FACE OF OTHERS WITH FALSE CONCIOUSNESS AND GETTING OFF WITH MURDER.
   OR JUST PLANE CANT MANGE THEIR OWN WORDS. BUT  then i considered theyw ere not much different that anyone i ever met in life or my family . Christians or other who cant manage.
   First experience with one guy in nyc. who claimed he was a vegan. SFw. but he  attacked me when i told him i did not want or need a boy friend and he was out looking for a girl to fuck and dis because a jamaican girl burn him, and make him have a break down. i had escaped one person i never fell for the green card thing so maybe he was sent on me, to get even with me for that.
 next person was some prison dread rasta , in jail for cocain dealing for 12. Dreads down to ass. they dont cut dreads and stay in solitary sometimes for not cutting dreads.
   LOl this person was no example of a rasta either cause he ate fish or veg. he attack me try to use me for  money , he had gotten some stupid white girl to buy him car and give him thing but she found him out to have a girl nad she left him. he took me for idiot and got no where.
        Up road  one time i called him and he had gone to Rebel Salute and driven a woman  who made him drive back to kingston, and not pay him . I asked why. He then said she fell asleep at show and said .. they robb.... cut it short and then made up story said she wanted to have sex with me( at show) and i didnt want to) RIIGGGHT> he was kind of person to rob someone sleazy asshole. so he got his cause he jerked me for money to.
   he wanted me to send him money to bail his ass out. i hung up and cut him off.f beggars make me sick.
 He had to rob her. he was the type and lied to cover it. good she left him in kingston no money home.
   next person who come in my path in form of singer to, rasta and all have some desprate intent to combat my moral and clean life. i suffer but dont beg ..
 last one was also a nazi rast singer. i said i would not let a singer rasta or other near me to fast till i was ready . i had to many experiences with jerks. people who demand people to cater to frailness or problems and laugh as they ride over poeple and make claims to religion or not.
    this next demon was one of them. he cought me off guard, he got in to my life through a security drop, and i am sorry for it. I sensed as his first wrolds to me were i need money, and i want money . alot of it. hundreds of dollars. i hung up a few times. he would call i knew when he wanted money. desprate. i remained cool. then i got cought i it and began to have a relation ship..
   of some kind but i was aware of what was going on. he woiuld get violent abuseive and say he was not about love but money. i was about love and money would come in life if u keep working,.
 this person put theend to my enchanted blessed life and concious life. he robbed me also of money things and my health with his rasta program. his friend did not correct him, to teach him the way. but encourage him to demand material things. etec all wearing bobo rags and smoking lot of weed.
     My life tied to god changed despite i fought my wounds and condtions i failed in last effort to cut him off psychicly where he was still  a threat to suck the soul out of me. then i turned a corner and my soul was gone with my life, my wealth and my health happy life.. magical life talent.
   He want also with others to escape punishment.